Must My Aspiring Content Creator Pal Stop Exploiting People for Material?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?